On Nov. 12, the ESRB released a new set of rating summaries to go into effect. Their press release states that all games since July 1, 2008 will have new content descriptors defining what’s in the game. While the content summaries have expanded, the actual rating of the games will stay the same, meaning the “early childhood” through “adult only” ratings are here to stay.

This started the hamster wheels in my head turning. What exactly makes a game notoriously Adult Only?

To unravel this mystery I turn to my current distraction; Gears of War 2. There’s plenty of violence, a plethora of gore and enough explitive to make a sailor on shore leave feel dirty – let’s face it, that’s why we buy it. Yet the game is rated mature. Damn, AO games must be extreme in comparison.

A search on the ESRB’s website reveals 23 adult only games. Among their despicable ranks are the likes of “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” with its sinful hot coffee, and the sex addicted “Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude: Uncut and Uncensored”. Sex. Cool. Where’s my gore, where’s my violence where are my exploding heads?

Out of the 23, only five are on the list for any type of violence, ranging from animated to intense, and all five are rated for “strong sexual content”. In fact, all but one has to do with sex; and a lot of it.

That’s “adult only”? Sex! Bumping the ugly, the forbidden tango, the horizontal hula. That’s more taboo than cutting a guy in half with a chainsaw while he lies dying on the ground?

Alright, but what about the ultra-violent “Manhunt 2”–after all, it was AO for a bit-–and the sexual innuendo rich “Postal 2”? These games have been banned by governments around the world for their violence and explicite material. The ESRB must have a Hannibal-Lecture plastic cage for these games! Nope, just mature; despite the ridiculously long content lists. In fact, Manhunt 2 wasn’t even among the ranks of the notorious 23.

There’s your answer. Sex is still the forbidden topic. Gamers can deal drugs, swear until they’re blue in the face and run pedestrians over on the street, but we can’t talk about the human act of breeding or its pleasures.

No wonder we get a rap for being sexual oppressed and socially enraged. Look what the industry says is okay.